Posted by cadivorceblawg on September 15, 2009
If you get divorced and are the parent of a minor child, you should consider the possibility of co-parenting. While divorce means the end of your marriage, it does not have to mean the end of your parenting relationship. The transition may be difficult for you, but is always much worse for your child. Would you rather have your child feeling lost and stuck in the middle during and after the divorce, or would you prefer your child to have two safe and loving homes?
What is Co-Parenting?
Co-parenting means that you and your ex-spouse keep raising your child together, even after your divorce or separation. You continue to share all the parental responsibilities and privileges and give your child the consistency in life it needs. While you are now living in two separate households, the goal is for both of you to stay as involved as possible in the life of your child.
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Posted in Children, Co-Parenting, Divorce, Divorce Mediation | Tagged: California, Co-Parenting, Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law | Leave a Comment »
Posted by cadivorceblawg on September 2, 2009
In a previous article, “Children and Divorce Mediation,” I compared the impact of litigation versus mediation on your children during your divorce. More and more parents decide that mediation is a better solution for themselves and for their children. Yet, many still wonder whether and if so how much children are included in the mediation process.
Undoubtedly, your children’s best interests are an important aspect of your mediation and will be at the forefront during the parenting or custody sessions. However, it is important to keep in mind that the negotiations take place between you, the adults, and that you make the final decisions. Your children should not make your decisions for you, but their input can be invaluable.
Maybe you already talked to your children and have an idea of what they want. If you are uncertain or are having trouble talking to your children, there are other options available to get your children’s input during the mediation:
- The mediator can interview the children him- or herself; or
- A therapist or child specialist can interview the children.
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Posted in Children, Consultants, Divorce, Divorce Mediation | Tagged: California, Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Mediation | 2 Comments »
Posted by cadivorceblawg on August 13, 2009
I have just added a new “Frequently Asked Questions” section to this blog. You can access it at any time in the top menu under FAQ.
This week, I concentrate on questions about divorce mediation. Some of the questions answered include “What is divorce mediation?”, “How long does it take?” “How much does it cost?”, “Do I have to go to court?”, and much more.
The answers and information provided in the FAQ section are only general in nature and by no means exhaustive. None of the information is meant to be legal advice. You should always consult an attorney in your state if you are seeking legal advice for your specific situation.
Posted in Divorce Mediation | Tagged: Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Mediation | Leave a Comment »
Posted by cadivorceblawg on August 6, 2009
Divorce mediation is a broad term and there is still confusion as to what exactly it entails. Some refer to it as “family mediation”, others call it “marriage mediation” or “marital mediation.” In today’s post, I will shine a light on the differences between divorce mediation and other types of family mediation.
A Typical Divorce Mediation
In a “typical” divorce mediation, husband and wife try to negotiate the settlement terms of their divorce. Instead of going to court to have a judge decide about the custody of their children, the division of their property, and alimony and child support, they decide to negotiate and settle these issues themselves with the help of a mediator. The divorce mediator will guide them through the process, assist with the negotiations, explain what issues need to be addressed, and prepare a memorandum of understanding capturing the parties’ agreement. Ideally, at the end of the mediation, all issues will be settled and a divorce judgment can be entered with the court.
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Posted in Divorce Mediation | Tagged: California, Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law, Marriage, Mediation | Leave a Comment »
Posted by cadivorceblawg on July 29, 2009
Following up on my article, “How to Start a Divorce Mediation – Contacting a Mediator,” today’s post focuses on how you can prepare for your divorce mediation.
Usually, your mediator will let you know what you need to do to prepare for each session. However, there are some things that you can take care of now. In order to get the most out of your mediation you need to gather the information necessary to make decisions about your property, your children, and your future.
Property
You and your spouse will have accumulated property over the course of your marriage. This includes real property, such as the family home, cars, jewelry, and even furniture. You might also have loans or other debts.
At some point, your mediator will ask you for a list of all your assets and debts, when each was acquired, its current value, and who owns or owes it. Your mediator will also want to know how you plan to divide your furniture and other household items. Start this list now because it will take time to gather all the information. It is also useful to have documentation for bigger items.
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Posted by cadivorceblawg on July 22, 2009
A caucus is a private meeting between the mediator and only one of the parties. While caucusing has proved to be very effective in employment law, real estate, and other civil litigation disputes, it is a controversial topic in divorce mediation.
Divorce mediation is meant to help divorcing couples reach an agreement that is satisfying to both of them. With the aid of a mediator, the parties negotiate the terms of their settlement agreement so that they can ultimately dissolve their marriage in a civilized and productive way. Essentially, communication between the parties is key to a successful mediation.
Following the idea of communication, a caucus seems counterproductive. In fact, a family mediator should consider the following disadvantages before agreeing to or suggesting a caucus.
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Posted in Caucus, Divorce Mediation | Tagged: California, Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law, Mediation | Leave a Comment »
Posted by cadivorceblawg on July 14, 2009
I recently read an interesting article about a new area of family mediation, called Marital Mediation. While it is not couples therapy, the goal of marital mediation is to help couples stay together.
According to the article, “Marital Mediation uses mediation techniques to open and improve lines of communication, helps couples address areas of friction in their relationship, and develop “guidelines” that focus on the behavioral changes each person will make in order to lessen future conflict.”
One key aspect of marital mediation is to teach couples communication skills they can use in their marriage or partnership.
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Posted in Marital Mediation | Tagged: Divorce, Family Law, Marital Mediation, Marriage, Mediation | 2 Comments »
Posted by cadivorceblawg on July 7, 2009
In divorce mediation, the mediator’s role is to guide you through the divorce mediation process, help you communicate with each other, and provide objective information to help you make informed decisions and reach an agreement.
In some situations, consulting a professional is necessary to help couples overcome their complex issues. That does not mean that divorce court is the only option left. On the contrary, inviting experts into the mediation is often a beneficial decision.
Experts in Family Court
When you need expert advice or testimony in family court, each of you will hire your own expert. He or she will work with your attorney to arrive at a position that is most favorable to you. In the end, a judge will consider two usually completely opposite opinions and make a decision.
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Posted in Consultants, Divorce, Divorce Mediation | Tagged: California, Court, Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law, Mediation | 4 Comments »
Posted by cadivorceblawg on June 30, 2009
The role of a mediator in private divorce mediation is to facilitate the negotiations between you and your spouse, guide you through the mediation process, and provide an overview of applicable family law.
What a mediator cannot do is give you legal advice. S/he is ethically prohibited from doing so. Furthermore, it would also prevent the mediator from providing the fair and balanced environment necessary for a successful mediation.
Legal Advice
A great way to get legal advice is to consult an attorney at the beginning of your mediation. Many mediators encourage their clients to find a lawyer who will consult with them at the outset of the case and whom they can contact throughout the mediation process.
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Posted in Consultants, Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Lawyers | Tagged: California, Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law, Mediation | 4 Comments »
As last week’s new “Frequently Asked Questions” section was so well received, I have added another group of questions. This week’s subjects are divorce, legal separation, and annulments. The questions range from “