California Divorce and Family Law Mediation Blog

Contacting a divorce mediator differs from contacting a divorce attorney. During the mediation, the mediator will be a neutral third party to your negotiations. S/he will guide you through the process and help you resolve the issues in your divorce. The mediator will not give you legal advice, but will only provide objective information.

The mediator’s neutral role begins with the very first contact. Usually, only one party makes the decision to call a mediator. The other party is not always aware that their spouse is contemplating a divorce.

In order to maintain a fair and balanced atmosphere from the very beginning, the mediator will tell you that he or she cannot discuss any specific issues of your case. This does not mean that the mediator is not interested in helping you through your divorce or does not care about you or your case. Rather s/he will want to give both of you an equal chance to tell your story once you all meet for the first time. This assures neutrality and fairness to your spouse and to you.

Nonetheless, the mediator or his or her assistant will ask for some information from you, such as your and your spouse’s contact information, how long you have been married, whether you have children, and whether there is any marital property that must be divided. This will help him or her determine the issues that must be negotiated during the mediation.

The mediator will also provide you with some basic information about the mediation process in general and what you can expect from the first meeting.

You can relay this information directly to your spouse and give him/her the mediator’s contact information, or the mediator can contact your spouse directly. Either way, both parties must have the same information to assure that everyone starts from the same point.

Most mediators will also send both of you more detailed information about the process by mail or e-mail along with intake questionnaires and other helpful materials. This way, each of you will be equally prepared for the first meeting.
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Note: This article is not legal advice. It only addresses general matters and should not be relied on by readers or considered legal advice. Only California law is addressed. Contact a lawyer in your state to discuss the specifics of your case and the applicable law.

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