Children and Divorce Mediation
Posted by cadivorceblawg on June 23, 2009
When you decide to get a divorce, every choice you make will not only have consequences for you but also for your children.
Divorce is stressful for children. Usually, one parent will move out and the child gets to spend less time with him or her. During this period, children often feel abandoned and sometimes even believe that they are the cause of the divorce. They often do not understand why their life is changing so significantly and feel insecure and lost.
Litigating your Divorce
Getting a divorce in court can complicate matters. Most likely, you will be more stressed than normal, and if you are under stress, so are your children. The court system is adversarial and all that matters in court is winning your case. Children and their needs usually get lost in the chaos. Children are also often used to gain advantages, and decisions are made without the child’s best interest in mind.
Unfortunately, the same pattern will continue once your divorce is final. Your children will always be stuck in the middle, especially if parents are unable to communicate with each other.
Divorce Mediation
Divorce mediation can help lessen the conflict and stress during your divorce. It can also help lay a foundation for a more cooperative future.
Divorce mediation is a non-adversarial process. The goal is not to “win your case” but to find solutions that satisfy both of you. The mediation setting is less stressful as you will not have to go to court or stand up in front of a judge. You also do not have to worry about someone else imposing any decisions on you.
When you negotiate the future parenting of your children, the interests of your children come first. The goal is to find a solution that permits effective co-parenting; and one crucial aspect of co-parenting is communication. Throughout your divorce mediation, you will learn to communicate better with each other. Effective communication can tremendously reduce conflict and thus, create a healthier environment for your children.
In difficult situations, you will have the option to consult with a child therapist. The same therapist could also talk to your child(ren) if you agree.
Summary
Divorce mediation can be a better solution for you and your children. It will reduce stress and conflict while you are resolving your issues and it can provide the basis for a future in which both of you will be involved in your children’s lives in a healthy and supportive way.
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Note: This article is not legal advice. It only addresses general matters and should not be relied on by readers or considered legal advice. Only California law is addressed. Contact a lawyer in your state to discuss the specifics of your case and the applicable law.
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